Brad Brookins
09 Apr 2009
Smoking reasons fall short on logic
I used to get headaches when being around smokers. You know the kind? The ones who sort of start as a light tingle in the back of your skull and then move through the center of your brain and end […]
26 Mar 2009
Dorms require proper Feng Shui for lifestyle
I hope everyone’s spring break was as riveting as mine. It’s been two weeks since my fingers tapped away at my crap-ass laptop, golly. Anyway. It’s been almost a year since my last night in my McMillan dorm room, number […]
12 Mar 2009
Center of the universe located on campus
So there I was, kicking ass like always when I started to feel the warmth of self-importance wash over my body. Suddenly it hit me: I am the center of the universe. As I became aware of this I felt […]
05 Mar 2009
University Center leprechaun blamed for stealing possessions
So there I was, watching the “Terminator Salvation” movie trailer at a kiosk in the University Center, when I felt a brush against my back. When I turned around to find nobody there minus the girl next to me, I […]
26 Feb 2009
Father Time prolongs boredom, kidnaps fun
So I recently had the opportunity to meet someone very important, controversial and effective. I say he’s important, because without him we wouldn’t exist. I say controversial because he’s never in enough abundance for or all of us to appreciate. […]
19 Feb 2009
Squirrel gang terrorizes campus
Though still mid-February, it seems there are many signs hinting toward a premature Spring season. With Mother Nature teasing the students of River Falls with occasional temperatures groping the mid forties, and the temptation to inflate their dying basketballs for […]
12 Feb 2009
‘Sexual Depravity’ author scores print in limitless media
I like to step out of my bounds every once in a while to get a whiff of what’s goin’ on down the road—like UW-Stout or UW-Eau Claire, namely Eau Claire. Actually, I lied. Though I do enjoy seeing what’s […]
05 Feb 2009
Columnist dabbles anarchy of the mind
Welcome back, folks. Like an unplanned teen pregnancy, this semester has jolted my attention and alert level into a state of frenzy. I can’t fathom myself living the rest of my life the same way I spent my lazy J-Term. […]
11 Dec 2008
‘Real’ winter qualities remain in high demand
It seems there’s this yearly occurrence called “winter.” I only recently became aware of this phenomenon when nearly shattering my ankle trying cross Cascade while a fury of angry drivers attempted to run me and three others-two of whom did […]
04 Dec 2008
Second offenders to be met with punishment of servitude
Welcome back, ladies and gentleman. I was reading the latest issue of The Student Voice and I came across a very interesting letter to the editor. Actually, if I recall correctly, it was the only letter to the editor. Anyhoo. […]