Writers block leads to unfaltered confessions in love
March 14, 2013
Staring at a blank page, using all gumption to once again force down the polished keys that deny my desire to create sentence after sentence. My hesitant fingers seem to be glued in place, but refuse to cooperate in making the simple motion.
Why is it so hard for me to sit here and come up with a topic to ramble about? I love to write, at least I’m pretty positive I do. I have only kept a journal and wrote songs since I was in fourth grade.
Shifting around in my seat trying to get comfortable, I think of all the reasons I love to write, or why I want to write. The simple joy of putting words on paper, to tell the truth, to tell any story in such a way that the reader just can’t put down the paper or click away from their screen.
I guess you could say I’m having an off day, more like week, maybe even month. I know I’m not the only one either because I hear everyone around me talking about how their lives have become absolutely insane the last couple weeks. It’s like pre-spring break torture.
Homework, family and friend drama are just the works of problems. Why does this happen, every year around the same time, too? It’s like a go-kart spinning around and never ending, waiting for us all to unexpectedly get on and take our turn of suffering.
I’m beginning to realize something as I get older, the more people you love, the weaker you become, subconsciously of course. If something bad happens to them you are equally upset or sad about the situation.
You are allowing yourself to get hurt, and trusting your friends and family not to hurt you. That has to be one of the craziest things we human beings do to ourselves.
The people who make us happy are never the people we expect either. I can attest to that, for a special someone I hold dear to my heart, whom I never would have thought to, has changed my life around completely for the better.
The way he holds my hand some days, the way his arms hug me tight. A simple kiss on the forehead, so soft and sweet. Starting out each day with, “Good morning beautiful or sweetheart. Make today great.” He is so positive; it has rubbed off on me after being around him for so long. It’s like the way I used to be in the summer, so careless and free. Unstoppable and confident in everything I did. I wonder why my mood changes when the school year begins, it’s like I have a whole new personality of me. It’s confusing, and I wonder if other people experience something similar and it’s not just me being crazy.
This guy in my life has only been here for 529 days (I’ve been counting you could say). Can I tell you a secret? Promise not to tell? From the moment that I have actually just started to talk with him and given him a hug for the first time, I have felt so calm and comfortable around him.
It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, it’s new and exciting and I love it.
These little things he does for me, with me, to me, really get under my skin. Don’t worry it’s in a good way, I feel like a princess and it is so weird.
Some days I like it and cannot get enough. Other days I just want to make sure he knows that I am my own hero in my own story, that I don’t need saving and I can take care of myself. Even though I am pretty sure he knows, it’s just who he is.
Well there, I guess I did it. I was able to ramble on this week. It sets me on fire.
If you have people in life you love, or you are afraid to love, tell them today; let them know in your own special way because I can guarantee you it will make their day so much better. If my special friend is reading this, my feelings will never falter no matter where life takes me or you. As far as my writer’s block goes, I hope this is the end of it. Even if mama did say there would be days like this.
Miranda Hammel is a journalism major. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, and being active outdoors.