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Katie Heaton

Katie Heaton is a student at the University of Wisconsin-River Falls.

December 11, 2009

Holiday movie offers little cheer

I can’t believe this day has come. It’s my last review, Falcons, and already I’m feeling the void (and the reimbursement) within my pocket. Indeed, my ticket stub is gone, my popcorn bag empty, and my reviewer’s hat hanging back up on its old post (don’t worry, I didn’t really have the hat).

December 4, 2009

Family film earns fantastic title

I have come to the conclusion that I love animals. Not all animals of course, but enough of them where I can generally say I like them as a whole. I’m almost 100 percent confident that they can make some of the greatest friends we know.

November 19, 2009

CGI saves ‘2012’ from annihilation

So I’ve decided that when it comes down to it, I don’t really want to know how the world ends. I’ve made the conclusive decision that I don’t enjoy screaming children, panicky parents, blood-strewn bodies, or sentimental reunions in the last full moments of life. No, I’ve decided it’s not really my thing. It’s like […]

November 13, 2009

Anti-war satire thrills viewers

Falcons, I don’t even need to see this movie. Nope, and I know what you’re thinking but seriously, I don’t. I already know in my heart of hearts, in the depths of my soul, in the deepest chasm that is my very being, that this motion picture, this glorious piece of cinematography, this brilliant and […]

November 6, 2009

‘Law Abiding Citizen’ fails with confusing plot

When looking at current society, it’s safe to say that, for the most part, the majority of the human population finds itself to be one that is evolved. We have technologies that outstretch most imaginations, powerful and well-developed educational systems, and strong values or beliefs that can push good men and women into becoming even […]

October 29, 2009

Aviatrix biopic crash lands

When it comes to the retelling of history, it seems that, as far as memories go, we can swing one of two ways. We can either vie for the attention by regaling others with times and events that rattle our thoughts and bones (exaggerated or not), or we can travel by conventional route, repeating names, […]

October 23, 2009

Children’s book marvels as film

Nostalgia. Generally, it’s a word I don’t use too much, unless of course I’m speaking about a girl’s weekend that includes a midnight Disney marathon, a little celebrity gossip and some long overdue cookie baking. Fortunately for you all, my Disney collection is still on VHS, Kanye managed restrain himself from interrupting another awards speech, […]

October 15, 2009

John Keats biopic wins romantic hearts

After a week filled with rotten meat, cold weather and sniffles, it was clear that a new film review was in desperate need. Something that would lift not only me, but also perhaps my inadequate chemistry skills out of the Debbie Downer we were stuck in. Should I see a comedy? My skepticism after last […]

October 9, 2009

Latest zombie flick creates rift

Falcons, have you ever seen a woman get her Achilles tendon bitten off by a balding, overweight, middle-aged man? I have. My friends, have you ever seen an old woman walk calmly to her door while being chased by a man covered in blood, only to pull a lever, which then suddenly drops a piano […]

October 1, 2009

‘Fame’ remake breaks a leg

This week Falcons, we pretty much had it all—singing, dancing, friendship, heartbreak, loss, emotional outbursts, teenridden angst and near sudden death. I know, right? Katie, what does this mean? What could you have possibly seen that carried such humanism, such down to earth emotional material?! Well friends, I’ll tell you. While it’s something many of […]

September 24, 2009

Corporate crime film pays off

After seeing this film I’ve got to admit to you all, this has been just a little trickier than I anticipated. While the just right/in between stage worked beautifully for Goldie Locks and her minor case of breaking and entering, it unfortunately has not carried over into review writing so swimmingly. Needless to say, I’ll […]

September 17, 2009

Alternate history WWII film impresses reviewers

For this new movie reviewer, a weekend like this couldn’t come fast enough. The official first review. Filled with anticipation and a mild case of the nerves, I looked forward to writing about any Hollywood blockbuster. The trouble was which one would I choose? Luckily for me, my friends say the darndest things. “Katie! Wanna […]