Bethany Lovejoy
07 Feb 2018
'Emo the Musical': A Big Australian Why
Think of the worst idea you’ve ever had. Was it climbing a tall tree? Maybe overdrawing your account? Applying for a job too late? Whatever it was, it’s not as a bad as "Emo the Musical".
31 Jan 2018
Horse-oscopes by Beth: February 2
And thus forth, as we return from the break of great cold, do we find ourselves in need of guidance through the wisdom of the stars, so that with great care we may navigate the many perils that befall the ignorant. Lo’, be not worried of what may befall you, for your campus boasts that of great power and sensitivity to thy stars many screams.
This week they scream horses.
31 Jan 2018
Bernie is the (Jack) black comedy you need to see
I love Jack Black. It’s not a joke, as many people may mistakenly believe. When I was seven, I saw Nacho Libre and I knew, deep within my heart, that I loved Jack Black. If given the opportunity in my youth, I likely would have married Jack Black. Unfortunately, there are far more beautiful and talented women in this world, therefore such an idea is only a hypothetical.
13 Dec 2017
Horoscopes by Beth: December 15
“Lo, how does thy in possession of silly effeminate wiles approach the holiday of Christ? How may I be certain of the rightfulness of my actions if I am but a peasant, unaware of the planet’s alignment and their tricks within thy fate?” This is what you probably thought this morning, but don’t worry because your friendly neighborhood reviewer is here to read those planets and align those signs for you.
13 Dec 2017
Not the Duff you’re looking for: 'Christmas Belle' is unsurprisingly bad
Here’s a fun fact: Every single year around July, Haylie Duff, the less prominent Duff sister, begins a journey in which she begins to film a parade of Lifetime and Hallmark Christmas movies. She’s done this to the point where half of my Netflix queue is just Haylie Duff Christmas movies.
06 Dec 2017
'Gammera the Invincible' is wonderful and confusing, all at the same time
Assistant Editor Sophie Koch gave me her DVD of Japanese monster movies to watch about two months ago. This week I finally used a dvd player to watch them.
"Gammera the Invincible" was on this dvd and to be honest, I had about as much of a clue as you do of what this movie was about.
29 Nov 2017
How a tuna fish sandwich became a Scarlet A; throwing away student’s food causes more problems
One of the new ‘background’ news pieces that stations and newspapers have been covering recently talks about schools throughout the united states where the food is taken away from a student for being under balanced and the student is given an alternative meal option in its place.
29 Nov 2017
'The Decoy Bride' does nothing special to separate itself from the rest of romances
If you’ve read my column for more than a hot minute you may have realized that there is a quite a large amount of both babes and romance being featured.
15 Nov 2017
The creamed corn of romance movies: 'Fifty Shades of Grey'
I’ve been threatening to review Fifty Shades of Grey for a while now, and have finally gotten around to it. I watched this movie in a room with my three roommates and ate pancakes during it, so maybe that’s affected my emotional response to it. Keep in mind that my senses may have been dulled by pancakes and people.
15 Nov 2017
Are engagement rings really about them, or you?
“I made an investment.” My sister’s (ex) fiancée had reassured us of that no more than five times during our Christmas dinner, forcing her to hold up her ring with every single utterance and interrupting my older sister’s enjoyment of stuffing and chicken.
