Author archive

Christopher Pagels
Christopher Pagels is an alumnus of UW-River Falls.
May 4, 2012
Halibut, the universal name for a life changing hike
Our captain was a young woman, fair in beauty and seemed groomed into the family business. A Dutch couple Hank and Marianne, and a German woman Olena were being dropped off at Halibut Cove with me, but they were only going for a half-day hike to the Grewingk glacier. My destination was 40 miles to […]
April 20, 2012
A rough hike to Palmerton presents fallible excitement on the trail
“Dear Pennsylvania, How I loathe thee. If Virginia is for lovers, Pennsylvania is for haters. If Satan’s feces were rocks, then he must have taken a laxative and taken a big deuce all over your entire state. You will not be missed post-global warming.”—Wazi, an Appalachian Trail hiker Upon walking across the bridge for the […]
April 13, 2012
‘Twilight’ confrontation in Forks, Washington
The last two times I’ve been pulled over were in 2009 and 2010, in Forks, Washington. Neither of the officers were named Charlie. I did not receive a ticket, nor have I gotten one in all of my 25 years. This happened on the same road within the same mile. The first time I heard […]
March 30, 2012
Capturing lasting images at the Pacific Ocean
I passed a green highway sign that pointed west to Shelter Cove as I curled down in my Acura down this heavily forested part of northern California called the Big Sur.
March 2, 2012
Traveling mountain trails initiates nickname
Most know me by my given name. Others, namely hikers, know me only as Bard, or, in its formal manifestations, Bard the Changeling.
February 24, 2012
Hiking adventure turns from sunny to stormy
Two miles outside of Rangeley on the Appalachian Trail I was to end another successful 18-mile day. The sun was shining through that Maine forest and the elevation gains were at a minimum, less than 1,000 feet.
February 10, 2012
Rumbling and bumbling in the national parks of the west
In the Grand Tetons, my family was refused from a “jackets only” restaurant. When we approached the maître d’ in our moist swimming trunks, a rack of black dress coats to our left and a deep mahogany stained bar to our right, it looked like we brought a Tupperware of homemade sin as a side […]
February 3, 2012
Observing the Packer game with distinct spectators
There are a bunch of ugly antennas on my friend Nick’s Chevy SUV. He is a ham. No, really, he loves HAM radio. He also loves the Packers. So Nick, his brother Bry-Bry, and I drove down to Green Bay with his ugly antennas waving at 70 mph on Christmas. Disclaimer, not that you care […]
December 17, 2011
Early morning pranking in a forgotten cemetery
It’s 3 a.m. and I’m hanging from a rope. The rope is attached to the swinging bridge in Glen Park swaying over the Kinnickinnick River. Ultimate trust fall, Mike holds my life in his hands and the blood alcohol level is not in my favor. I tuck the inch-thick purple rope tight around my hip […]
November 18, 2011
Exploration of ‘haunted’ cemetery offers ironic feeling
Mike and I stopped our walk on Meridean Island, paused with baited breath, and listened for any howls from the “Hell Hounds.” Curious about ghost towns in the Spring of 2009, Caryville, an abandoned town in Eau Claire County, Wis., skipped across my desk.