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Opinion

Self-help techniques help mend heartbreak, tough relationships

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February 24, 2010

Hello River Falls, Dr. Love is in, and let us get down to business!  This week, I have been thinking a lot about the thing that ends relationships – breaking up. Even though Valentine’s Day was 2 weeks ago, I have noticed a definite peak in the number of breakups that occur either on that day or around that week.

What is it about Valentine’s Day that evokes this need in some people to finally have the courage to call it quits? Is it too overwhelming to think of spending such a romantic day with someone you wouldn’t consider that great of a boyfriend/girlfriend? Maybe it is the disappointment one feels after a Valentine’s Day they had hoped for had not become a reality. Either way, it seems like February has unofficially also become the “month of breakups”.

So let’s address this heartbreaking event, shall we? Yes, breaking up is hell, especially if it was a one-way relationship, or if the person has cheated/broken your heart.

It may seem like the world is crashing before your eyes, and you might find yourself occasionally bursting out into painstakingly agonizing fits of emotional breakdown. It is normal, let it out all, men and women, just let it out!

It does not matter who broke up with whom because at the end of the day, it does NOT feel good to go to bed alone. It does NOT feel good to lose that emotional connection. It is a huge lifestyle change.

There is light at the end of the tunnel River Falls students! After one has traveled this difficult journey, you will realize how much you have grown and how much stronger you have become!So all this aside you’re thinking, so what can I do now to feel better because I am going crazy!

Do NOT check their Facebook profile. Checking their profile will only bring you more heartache and throw you deeper into a deeper state of depression.

Do NOT call/text them. It is ok to answer a text if it has something to do with discussing your recent breakup. However, before meeting up with your ex, make sure you go there with a clear mind so you only make decisions based on rational thinking. 

Do NOT jump into another relationship. Jumping from relationship to relationship can bring nothing but the feeling of numbness. A broken heart cannot love another, and thus when you try to fake it, you will only feel – nothing.

So take time to reflect upon yourself. During the relationship you have a large part of your identity tied up with that special person, but now it is time to spend time with trusted/true friends and re-discover your true identity.

Do NOT exercise self destructive habits. I have known many cases where the breakup is handled so badly that people have gone as far as getting into calamitous habits.

A little drinking and partying is normal after a breakup, but remember, no one is worth hurting yourself over.

Overall, being single requires a strong heart because it might feel like it is just you against the world. Take this as an opportunity to reconnect with friends and family.

Read, exercise, and involve yourself spiritually. Build yourself, and in time, as you meet your next special someone, your heart is whole again and you can love.

Priya Kailash is a student at UW-River Falls.