Letter to the editor

Manure spreading enforces stereotype

At the 13:02 mark prior to kickoff at Saturday’s Homecoming game, a Falcon farm tractor and manure spreader roared from out of the east like Grendel’s mother and proceeded to eject its contents in the area immediately adjacent to the stands of the visiting Eau Claire Blugolds’ fans and team. Never has the phrase “home field advantage” been made more tangible and in your face. Merriment among even the most jaundiced of the Falcon Nation subsided, however, when a second honey wagon appeared—Grendel himself—and dispatched a fresher and much more noxious cargo into the environs surrounding Ramer Field. Thankfully the atmosphere provided a third oxygen atom, which helped dilute the sulfur dioxide (or whatever) that threatened to ruin a beautiful day.

The iconoclastic proclivities of the Wisconsin farmer are well-known and often admired, but in this case I believe the decision to lay it on thick was ill-advised. One can only imagine the chagrin of those administrative types who have logged hundreds of hours working to dispel the Moo U stereotype. And let’s not forget the horror of the intrepid streaker who raced 65 yards unimpeded through a mesmerized Eau Claire defense, leaped an encircling chain link fence in a single bound and surmounted a taller second barrier with obvious ease—only to find himself literally mired, ankle-deep, in proverbial deep shit, with campus security on his trail like bloodhounds.

Harold Tiffany
River Falls class of ‘67