Ask Colleen: Getting on the Dean's List

Dear Colleen,

How do I get on the Dean's List this semester? Before college I never cared about making a Dean's List, but now that I am at college it seems to be a bigger deal. Do you have any advice on how to make the list?

Thanks,
Dean's List

Dear Dean's List,

I could answer this question with the simple "by doing your homework and going to class," but that isn’t always true and sometimes not realistic. Look at it this way, what does the Dean's List mean to you? Why is it important for you to be on it? College classes are challenging and life can easily get in the way. I wouldn't strive to get on the Dean's List; I would strive to do the best you can do depending on your situation. I know that sounds cliché, but it’s the truth. Also, putting the pressure on yourself to make the Dean's List could ultimately end in disappointment.

Every semester it's the same old thing of being more organized and not procrastinating for me. But guess what? I always fall back into my old habits, which is okay. When I stopped worrying about my grades or making the Dean's List, everything seemed to fall into place. Shockingly, I even made the "prestigious" Dean's List once or twice.

I never look to see if I made the Dean's list or who else did or didn't, because that doesn't matter. A grade or a list doesn't define you, but what you learn and your attitude does.

Remember college isn't just about your grades or the degree that you are trying to obtain. Again, I am going to hit you with another cliché, but it is about the voyage along the way. Remember to focus on why you want to be in college in the first place, the rest will follow.

Best of luck,
Colleen

Dear Colleen,

I’ve been friends with this guy with for a while, but then I started to like him as more than a friend. He has a girlfriend, but I think they are going to break up soon. Should I keep waiting or make a move?

-Waiting

Dear Waiting,

Haven't we all been there? It's a drag and all around sucky. The person we like isn't available and we just watch from a far. The problem with waiting is that you’re missing out on what’s right in front of you. Ever thought that maybe there is another suitor waiting in the shadows for you?

This guy may seem like the only one for you, but only time will reveal that. Trust me, I know how easy it is to get lost in a fantasy world, but don't let it consume you.

So what happens if they do break up? What's next? Do you go in for the kill? Or keep waiting for something to happen? Chances are if their relationship has been rocky for a while, the breakup won’t be a pleasant one. He will need time to himself and may not be ready to jump right back into a relationship.

If you really want to be with him, you should tell him. Nothing will happen if you don't say anything. And may be the perfect opportunity will be if they do break up. But if you're someone like me, you'll just keep waiting.

The best advice I've gotten about relationships was to stop waiting for someone who doesn't know your true feelings. Remember most of us can't read minds.

That leaves two choices: Find the courage to say your true feelings and prepare yourself for a number of possible responses or to stop waiting and get out there yourself.

Either way, I truly believe being honest with yourself and others really does go a long way. And you never know what may happen.

Sincerely,
Colleen