Student Voice


May 26, 2024



Politicians open mouths, lose credibility, risk votes

October 23, 2008

I am in fact a fraud. It is factually correct that I previously stated that I would not write another column subjecting innocent readers to my “radical” conservative views. I must prove that statement to be a lie, by writing another political column.

But understand this, my little liberal minions, it’s not my fault. I don’t want to have to write columns about politics, but the insane idiocy spoken by politicians forces me to.

Michele Bachmann, a congresswoman from Minnesota’s sixth district running for re-election against Elwyn Tinklenberg, recently said on MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Matthews that she is concerned Barack Obama has anti-American views.

Though I support Bachmann, I must say she is an idiot. Obama is in the process of perhaps winning the presidential election by a landslide, and you go on the most liberal news media on the planet and say he’s anti-American, good luck with that election. Tinklenberg apparently raised upwards of $1 million in the past week in a race that was going to be a landslide, but now will be close.

Side note: I actually considered voting for Tinklenberg before I found out he was a lib, just because of his name. Elwyn Tinklenberg sounds like the main character of a Saturday morning cartoon, and I love it. This brings up a whole different issue about liberals getting all the best political names. In the third congressional district in Minnesota, Ashwin Madia is running against Erik Paulsen - guess who the democrat is.

Next up is Muppet character/Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank. This week he made a statement where he said there needs to be an immediate increase in spending, there needs to be less focus on the deficit (something that the liberals have consistently hammered President Bush on) and that all of this is fine because there are “rich people we can tax.”

Wow. Have you ever heard such an arrogant approach to blatant wealth redistribution? It’s like saying let’s spend like crazy because when Obama gets elected it’s going to be like Christmas morning and the rich, hard-working successful people are buying the toys. Barney Frank, aside from sounding like Sean Penn in I Am Sam and looking like the Chef from the Muppets, has a socialist agenda and is, in fact, a massive idiot. Go on YouTube and explain to me how someone who talks like that could possibly ever win an election.

Finally let’s take a little peak at the rhetoric being spewed on the campaign trail. It is amazing that Sarah Palin continually gets hammered for what she says, when Joe Biden is guilty of saying equally ridiculous things. Biden’s quote of President Franklin Roosevelt speaking to the American people on television during the great depression - even though television wasn’t invented then - is far in the rearview mirror, he recently said this on the campaign trail.

“Mark my words; it will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama… Watch, we’re gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy… and he’s gonna need help. And the kind of help he’s gonna need is, he’s gonna need you - not financially to help him - we’re gonna need you to use your influence, your influence within the community, to stand with him. Because it’s not gonna be apparent initially, it’s not gonna be apparent that we’re right.”

Oh…My…Dad… Seriously Joe, did you really just say that? Biden explicitly said that Obama was not ready to be president when he was running against him, and apparently he still thinks it. Biden is laugh out loud funny, I honestly have nothing to say for this quote, I am just in complete shock that Biden could possibly have said something that stupid.

Good luck with your country after you elect Obama, because according to his own running mate there will be a “generated international crisis” and the response is “not gonna be apparent that we’re right.” Good luck America, say what you will about John McCain, but we all know that nobody would generate an international crisis to test him.

That’s all I’ve got. Biden, in his own words, is journalism gold and I don’t want to ruin it.

Caleb Stevens is a student at UW-River Falls.