Normal people absent from the real world
December 15, 2006
Have you ever met someone or repeatedly run into someone who makes you instantly want to tear off screaming in the other direction instead of engaging in conversation?
Have you ever been forced to talk to a person whose intelligence makes you cringe and actually makes you question whether or not your own IQ just dropped because of what they had to say?
Believe it or not, people of this nature do exist, and I run into them on a daily basis. The unfortunate thing is, if you are ignorant enough to believe that blatantly dumb people are a figment of my imagination, then you are most likely in fact one of those people I want to pat on the head like I would a puppy and suggest you think much harder before you speak.
I don’t want to feel stupider — yes, stupider — after talking to you. I would like to believe after speaking to every person I come across in a day that my life will feel a little more fulfilled, or my mind will be enlightened. But in reality, this will never, ever happen.
However, when I think about all of the dumb conversations I initiate or take part in, I have to believe that I am also a blatantly stupid person. The difference between me and you is that I know I have moments in my day when I act less than intelligent, but when it comes to talking to people other than the handful who indulge in my stupidity, I turn up the IQ and come down from La La Land. That way, you won’t leave after a conversation with me thinking, “Wow, she is one dumb woman.”
I used to go to work — a liquor store in Woodbury, Minn. — with a positive attitude, ready to face every waiting customer. But after answering the question, “What do you sell?” on more than one occasion, I decided it is not always better to give people the benefit of the doubt, and the old adage, “The customer is always right,” is very untrue.
I have a hard time actually believing everyone is stupid, so maybe it’s just that the world is void of normal human beings and we are all just a little bit crazy.
For example, as I sit here writing this, my editor is across the room spinning wildly in her chair for no particular reason. Upon stopping, she attempts to reach her feet to the ground and says, “You have to try this.” What could I do with a demand like that? I had to give it a shot, and I did.
It was anti-climactic.
Given we are both going insane from the stupidity and childish antics of the entire human race, not excluding ourselves or fellow members of the Student Voice, we took our lunacy to a whole new level — hallway chair racing.
So, for those faculty members in the journalism department who may or may not have heard several thuds on the wall dividing the office from the hallway Tuesday afternoon, I would like to personally apologize for any distraction it may have caused.
According to Helen, who won while viciously cheating, she is not that good at chair racing — I just happen to be really bad at it. Maybe next time we should try it with our chairs raised up high and our feet barely touching the ground.
Even with chair racing, engaging in childish conversations and responding to a nickname like “Blow,” I still remember from time to time that everyone else around me does not enjoy my ignorance, and speaking coherently with an educated air is not only necessary, but a requirement for living.
So the next time you walk into a liquor store, don’t ask if they sell vodka — it’s a standard for liquor stores. If you go to Dairy Queen and ask if they sell ice cream, expect the looks from the employees to be blank stares or those of awe followed by an eruption of laughter. They are not being rude, they are not even out of line in any way — you just aren’t that bright.
“There is no such thing as stupid question.” Not true — there are stupid questions. But more so, there are stupid people.