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Opinion

‘The Dress’ breaks the internet

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March 4, 2015

Late last week, while you were performing in concerts, playing sports games, and scrambling to finish a big assignment before the end of the week, the internet was exploding.

Not over budget cuts, not over the threat of terrorism, but over a dress, or, “The Dress.”

Yes, the internet exploded because people could not agree on what color a piece of fabric was. I’m not sure if it was just a slow news week or what people are calling an “optical illusion” or a “scientific mystery.” Whatever the reason, I am both bewildered and fascinated as to why a mere dress is getting so much attention.

When anyone looks at the infamous photo of “The Dress,” they see one of two color combinations: blue and black, or white and gold. I was not online at the very moment the internet exploded, but I viewed the mysterious photo with a group of equally bewildered friends. Right away, I saw white and gold.

I still see white and gold.

That is why I could not help but scoff at those who were quick to get defensive, as if I had just offended their great ancestors.

“Cristin, that’s BLUE!”

Okay, okay, calm down. You’re absolutely right. That’s white and gold.

However, exactly a day after the photo was released, another photo was released by the store that sold the dress, revealing that it was in fact blue and black. Of course, I was relieved. The white and gold made it look like a flour sack. The blue and black combination is much more appealing.

You would think after the true color was revealed, everyone would settle down and focus on the more important things in life, such as “The Bachelor.” But even I was surprised to find that I was incorrect, and I am still curious as to how one photo can make a blue and black dress appear white and gold, the exact opposite colors.

To me, this result stemmed from the angle of the dress, the camera, or the sun. It just had to be. What else would change its colors? Then again, does this ever happen with dresses? I suppose that is why it is treated as an optical illusion and why it caused the internet to explode.

Even then, it seems the trivial things get quite a bit of attention in the media. “The Dress” is right up there with the hype over “The Bachelor.” The color of a dress has become almost (key word: almost) as pressing as whether a girl would want to live in nowhere, Iowa, a one-street town where all but one business is ever open at a time, just to live with “Prince Farming” (a.k.a. the hunky bachelor himself, Chris Soules).

In most peoples’ opinions, “The Bachelor” is about as, if not less, fulfilling and intriguing as a dress. In my opinion, “The Bachelor” has much more to offer. “The Dress” has never given me the laughs, drama, tears or hot and heavy romance that “The Bachelor” can give in five seconds.

Most seasons are the same, scripted mess. But this season had its special quirks, including a crazy girl with an onion fetish (who could forget good ‘ol Ashley S.), a fake panic attack that was the result of Kelsey revealing the heartbreaking story of her late husband’s death (which was followed by her telling the camera, “Isn’t my story amazing?”), and a black box following a woman’s butt wherever it went.

There was no shortage of drama and complete airhead quotes this season, my favorite of course being: “I’m excited to go to New Mexico. I’ve never been out of the country before!” Sorry, but you are off about 150 years there, sweetie.

The show is now down to the final two, which leads viewers into next week’s finale (probably “the most dramatic season finale EVER,” just ask host Chris Harrison. He’ll tell you). Whitney and Becca are about to make a last-ditch attempt to win over the heart of Prince Farming.

I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt; they are both good for him. But with “The Bachelor” achieving a success rate of about .02 percent, who knows. Bachelor producers were quick to make a big stink about Becca’s virginity. I know they love to make a huge deal out of everything, but why is still being a virgin such a big deal? It’s not. It’s a personal choice, one that other people should stay out of.

Gee whiz, this is “The Dress” all over again. Whitney has always been a nice person (other than her arrogant tangent last week), although her permanent helium voice and forced southern accent hurt my ears. Anything could happen.

Whether it’s “The Dress” or “The Bachelor,” the media seems to be concerned with just about everything. But if you look closer, maybe there is a reason. Whether it is because of an amazing optical illusion or just a good laugh, it may be worth joining the conversation.

Cristin Dempsey is an English major and music minor from Eagan, Minn. She enjoys writing, playing the flute and swimming. After college she would like to pursue a career as an editor.