uwrfvoice.com
Thursday, December 3, 2020 Latest PDF issue  |  Give to the Voice  |  Search

Rachel Responds

Knowing where to find the perfect girl

Rachel Woodman

October 5, 2012

B. Snake asked to have the topic of “How NOT to pick up that hot girl in the corner” addressed in this week’s column.

Well firstly, I’d recommend not cornering her away from her pack of friends, and secondly not introducing yourself as “B. Snake.” Although, obviously, a pseudo-name would definitely be ineffective at getting the lady.

My No. 1 rule of wisdom is conversation first, pick-up line second. Build a little rapport, girls love that. I was walking through the Wal-Mart parking lot to my car at midnight with bags of groceries when a guy asked, “How YOU doin’?” This was not in the familiar Joey-from “F.R.I.E.N.D.S” fashion. This was an Imma-take-you-back-to- my-caddy-and-show- you-what-real-lovin- is fashion. I recommend not doing that.

Speaking as an insider to the female brain, picking up the hot girl in the corner is a multi-step process. Your look, friends, attitude and approach are all important.

As for your look, if you’re trying to pick up a shallow girl she might care about your threads, but for most women we’d just prefer you don’t look ridiculous. However, ridiculous works sometimes. Like on Halloween.

If you’re dressed like the Kool-Aid man, who cares, maybe she digs Kool-Aid, maybe she wants a tall glass of you. But for the rest of the year, I’d recommend a couple things.

One: don’t look like a sparkly ball of “IN YO FACE.” I’m talking wearing jeans and shirts so sequined it hurts our eyes to look at. Of course if the light is reflecting off of you to that degree you might successfully catch a doe in the headlights. Don’t count on this. However, if you are a sequined-wearing god, in his own right, look for a sequined clad goddess.

Two: don’t wear a mix of styles. Everyone tries to gather from your “look” who you are. So if you look like a gangster cowboy, well that’s just confusing. Mainly the female generation requests you don’t look aggressive, dirty or unapproachable.

Your friends are also important. If you are in a public space (fair, park, party, wedding, event, bar, saloon, pub, inn or tavern) who you are with is a reflection of you.

If your friends are running wild in the place and causing trouble she might believe you’re the best of the bunch but likely she’ll think you’re just pretending to be.

No one goes out with friends they hate and if your friends are rude to her she’s not going to think highly of you.

Of course there will be certain girls that’ll raise hell along with your rowdy friends but we’re speaking in generalities of course.

Approach is extremely important. Girls like confidence. This means being comfortable with who you are and talking to girls like regular people. But at some point look interesting or we’ll just be confused. Girls don’t like push-overs.

This means don’t try really hard to relate to everything she says. Don’t be too eager to do everything she does or wants. We can tell when someone is being fake and someone actually has that much in common. We’re not stupid. Which brings me to another point.

Don’t be stupid. Yes, girls like confidence and don’t like push-overs. This doesn’t mean we like being bossed around. Don’t tell us what we want. Coming up to a girl – in a corner or otherwise, B. Snake – and saying, “You know you’re into me,” or some other statement is not attractive. I could think you’re the hottest thing since Buck Burger Night, but if you tell me you are, and I don’t know you, I won’t want to.

Being nice is important too. Everyone knows there’s a fine line between “being nice” and “being too nice” so just remember to be yourself and not what you think she wants you to be. Also be respectful but assertive.

Being funny is also awesome. Girls like to laugh. Some girls will think everything is funny but others won’t enjoy self-depreciating humor or humor that makes you look like a bigot. So my recommendation is avoid those jokes at least until you know if she’s a self-depreciating bigot also.

Being able to carry a conversation with her friends doesn’t hurt. Girls who are with their friends aren’t always going to ditch their friends early in the night to hang out with you. Some friends are pretty protective of their friend running off with someone they just met.

So find some common ground with a couple of her friends so you seem less like a serial killer and more like a regular dude. Most women are instructed to hate the game and not the player.

Clearly we don’t hate the player, or none of us would date or be married. But the game could use a little more focus in the look, friends, attitude and approach categories.

Rachel Woodman is a senior majoring in marketing communications and minoring in journalism. She loves to work hard, play hard, and use clichés! Look for her Facebook page “Rachel Responds” and email her your questions or topic ideas to QuestionsForRachel@live.com.