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Opinion

Aaron Rodgers traded to Oakland Raiders

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March 31, 2010

The Green Bay Packers announced yesterday that they will be trading quarterback Aaron Rodgers to the Oakland Raiders for two first round picks for the 2011 draft.

Rodgers was extremely pleased with the decision as it will take him back to California, the place where he spent his college career, and where he will finally be at ease.

Rodgers and general manager Ted Thompson have increasingly been at odds after Thompson pleaded with Rodgers to “be more like Brett,” and that said dismal t failure against division foes and the inexcusable choke in the play-offs was simply enough. 

The Packers were also concerned with Rodgers health after he suffered from a severe case of “JaredAllen-Itis,” with symptoms including insomnia after nightmares of an Allen rush attack and severe headaches after being pounded to the ground 69 times.

Rodgers, aka the “wannabe,” stated that he was hoping to follow in some bigger footsteps, as he has been compared to Lions quarterback Matt Stafford and former Browns starter Brady Quinn. 

But, Rodgers is looking to erase the ill-feelings of being associated with a “cheesy” team and has even changed his looks, going from a “were you born in a barn, cave-man look alike” to a Tom Brady-esque styling in hope to move him away from the shadows of the NFL’s Iron Man (aka Brett Favre).

They say that time heals all wounds and the green and gold have repeatedly said that they’ve moved on from the glory days of Favre (it is something I will never understand, how Packer fans can hate someone who put their city on the map), but this is clearly not the case. 

Thompson and several other Packers officials have already drawn up a plan to woo the 40-year old version of Favre back to the tundra at Lambeau by offering Favre his own recording studio (so he can fine tune his rendition of “Pants on the Ground”), and by pledging to him the “Best of Both Worlds” (for those of you who watched Favre on Jay Leno, you know that Favre took his daughter to the finale of Hannah Montana). 

Breaking up is hard to do, but it is even tougher to come back, because we all know how hard it is for guys to admit they are wrong, and even more so when your head is made out of cheese.

Besides, I’m fairly positive that Packers head coach Mike McCarthy would never offer to pick Favre up in an SUV from the airport.

Well, while it was fun to think that the Packers could be that ignorant in trading Rodgers and that they surely must have felt silly with the amazing performance of Favre this season (even though they lost in the NFC championship game, it still was remarkable what Favre and the Vikings accomplished).

Packers fans have nothing to fear.

Rodgers was never traded (yet) and as far as I’m concerned, the Packers are showing no interest in Favre (although the Vikings will surely take him back).

Happy April Fool’s Day Packers fans! 

We’ve got your cheese (Favre), and we plan on keeping it all the way to Dallas with the Lombardi trophy in hand.

Ashley Goettl is an alumna of UW-River Falls. She was editor of the Student Voice from fall semester 2011 to spring semester 2013.