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Opinion

UWRF students exhibit poor crosswalk etiquette

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March 5, 2009

Being a journalism and marketing communications double major, I frequent North Hall almost every day. Being such, I get to utilize the crosswalks intersecting Cascade Avenue quite often. For those obtuse individuals out there, the crosswalks are the handy white stripes painted on the road that signify the proper areas to cross.

The rules regarding their existence are simple: use them! But do so in a polite and dignified way. There are few things that grind my gears harder than those students that simply walk out into the crosswalks without looking, expecting all cars on the road to stop for their passage. And it is towards those individuals that I direct this message:

Hey douchebag! Look both ways before crossing the fucking street!

I always thought that lesson was one of the easiest to grasp back in kindergarten, when we learned how to behave like human beings. Wedged neatly between saying “please” and chewing with your mouth closed was that one simple guideline: check for oncoming traffic.

It boggles my mind that there are college aged “academics” (I use the term loosely) that ignore such a painfully simple and viciously obvious rule. The level of arrogance it takes to automatically assume that vehicles will wait for you to cross in your own sweet time is mind numbingly retarded. Another message for you:

What self-ascribed prophetic delusion makes you think your shit doesn’t stink? Do you honestly believe that when you walk out into a crosswalk, cutting off a car or truck traveling upwards of 30 mph in icy conditions that you are going to come out ahead? Did you sleep through physics when you learned that a 2,000 pound hunk of metal traveling 15 times faster than your 180 pound fleshy mess would disintegrate your worthless life into nothingness? Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, we’d at least remove your dumbass gene from our already shriveling genetic pool.

With mindless self indulgence like this, the reputation of UWRF and her students is being raped. Community members get very little interaction with students, save our drunken bar embarrassments. And now we add to that very short list our inability to distinguish ourselves from ingrates by refusing to show common courtesy. The actions of my fellow “academics” (again, loosely) disgusts me. Just because we are in college doesn’t make us superior.

Guess what? The person you’re cutting off probably graduated college, so they’re already better than your failing ass! God I hate you!

I encourage the entire student body to hang up their cell phones, turn down their iPods and look up every once in a while. If you don’t, then I welcome the anguished wails of your mother as she attends your funeral, where theyƕll bury your liquefied remains in a used tub of Play-Doh!

Ken Weigend is an alumnus of UW-River Falls. He was editor of the Student Voice during spring semester 2010.