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Opinion

‘Sexual Depravity’ author scores print in limitless media

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February 12, 2009

I like to step out of my bounds every once in a while to get a whiff of what’s goin’ on down the road—like UW-Stout or UW-Eau Claire, namely Eau Claire.

Actually, I lied. Though I do enjoy seeing what’s going on elsewhere, I didn’t seek anything out this week. I was actually handed an article published on insidehighered.com in response to ANOTHER article published in Eau Claire’s biweekly FlipSide magazine. Upon reading this response I knew it was part of my destiny to read FlipSide’s original article entitled “Sexual Depravity.”

Before I lose you, I’d like to note that FlipSide magazine is a non-traditional mass media organization funded through UW-Eau Claire similar to our very own literary magazine, Prologue. It is a magazine published on a bi-weekly basis throughout the year and frequently advertises itself as being able to print anything and everything they receive within reason. This means they don’t find offensive material like bad language an issue provided their editors deem the piece decently written.

So here we have something wonderful. The Student Voice is printed weekly and is contributed to by hired students looking to polish their writing and journalistic skills. Prologue serves as an outlet for those who wish to have their writing and art displayed in the annual literary magazine format, and is thus printed only once a year.

The idea of FlipSide magazine is stupendous. No limits, no warnings, plenty of funding, advertiseing space-complete freedom. The magazine has come under scrutiny from their advising English faculty and public for the publication of some rather raunchy material-in some cases even articles surrounding odes to pro-rape behavior have been printed. Here’s where Sexual Depravity comes in.

The writer-Jake Everett is a guy who I knew nothing about prior to reading his poorly structured article. It’s also worth mentioning the Jake proudly states in his first sentence that he was “was feeling a little lazy this week and decided to just grab one of [his] blogs from MySpace and turn it into an article.” MySpace blog. Wonderful. Jake talks about his love life, which is non existent, as he says, and, in great detail, about his perfect “(you-know-what)-mate.”

I’m not an easily offended person, and in no way did his descriptions of anything really get to me. It was his nonchalant writing style and poor usage of swear words sandwiched around his overall tastelessness.

Here’s where I’m going to shift gears. First off -MySpace blogs. They are not meant to be read in any form of true mass media outside of the Internet. Jake, sorry man, but you are truly the epitome of douchebaggery. I hate your article based merely because you are an attention wench.

Your poor structuring regarding the perfect romp in the sack lacks the true edginess and class it deserves. You are part of a group of the new generation that exists in a constant state of entitlement. You use FlipSide as a source to be heard, and I’ll give you that, but, ironically, you’re nothing more than a quickie. Something to be forgotten.

Every time you drop the F-bomb, every mention of the double sided you-know-what, and pretty much everything else in your article is sheer crap. Jake, man, you are like the personified flesh and blood that is Target Field. Any monkey with three fingers, a cigarette and a keyboard can write a MySpace blog, submit it and get it published, but you, man you are the center of the universe.

As a society we cannot physically, mentally or even emotionally have one gigantic roof to play sports in-no. We need a new stadium because we want one. We’re entitled to be, right? Hell yes we are. We need new crap right now, and then we’ll need more new crap in 20 minutes.

By and all, this guy completely ruined a potentially interesting article on sexual cravings by injecting it with cliches. Had I read this piece as a FlipSide editor there’s absolutely no way in hell I’d have gotten past the first paragraph. I think you copped out by throwing out so many raunchy situations and curses.

Swearing on paper, like violence in a book, needs to be mastered and molded into something real. Your piece sucks and I’m thankful you’re the sole reason why FlipSide is losing its funding.

As for the kind of person you represent, I feel bad. You’re like this kid that came up to me once as I was listening to my iPod and said something along the lines of “whoa, that’s an old iPod.” Bewildered, I replied “it’s only three years old.”

“But it’s not in color.”

“I don’t need color. I don’t need to watch movies on my iPod.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

And so on and so forth. Really? Does it matter? I have a TV to watch movies on and a computer to surf the Web. But enough is enough, Jake, you selfish, broken waffle iron. Don’t ever write anything again. Actually, destroy your hard drive, delete your MySpace, burn all your term papers, break all your pens and pencils and move to Tijuana. There you can start a new magazine from scratch and distribute it as widely as you want having started over as a true, fresh writer.

Brad Brookins is a graduate of UW-River Falls.