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Opinion

Minnesota teams disappoint fan

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April 24, 2008

Dear Mr. John Madden,

  First of all, let me say I am a huge fan of your work. I know you’ve been going through some tough times recently with the retirement of Brett Favre, but hang in there. The fact that you can’t drool and say Brett Favre repeatedly will only make you a better broadcaster. Now, I’m one of the few people that knows that you’re in the Hall of Fame as a coach and broadcaster, so I’m a valued football fan with a great suggestion for your release of Madden 2009.

  As we know, the NFL Draft is fast approaching us this weekend, and it’s this time of the year when you unveil your cover athlete for the season. With that in mind, I would like to strongly suggest that you do NOT put Adrian Peterson on the cover of your game.

  Yes, I know it is silly to refer to the Madden Curse, but you seriously can’t do this to the Vikings and the state of Minnesota. As Minnesotans, we have been tortured repeatedly with our sports. The Minnesota Twins have won two World Series, but none since I’ve known what the hell is going on in the sports world. 

  The Minnesota Wild have fought to the end like they promised, but only until the end of the first round. The Minnesota Timberwolves are run by morons who are going to take a point guard from Greece instead of a point guard from the United States who could become the next Chris Paul (Derek Rose). Then there are the Vikings.

  Being a Vikings fan is like stabbing yourself in the face repeatedly with a rusty knife. Not only is it not healthy, but it’s very painful. The Vikings have choked repeatedly over the years and have been screwed often.

  In the late 1970s, Drew Pearson pushed off on Ahmad Rashad, knocking what some say was the best Vikings team ever out of the playoffs. In 1998, we went 15-1, led by Randy Moss. Our reward was to watch Gary Anderson miss one kick all season—the one that knocked us out of the playoffs. The list goes on and on.

  However, we have hope here in Minnesota. They went and got a receiver who put up good numbers with REX GROSSMAN throwing him the ball.

  Then we finally got the bloodthirsty defensive end we’ve always needed in Jared Allen. Assuming he doesn’t down a 30 pack and take a ride on I-94, I think we have something here.

  Your curse has screwed many football players over. Shawn Alexander got released two years after he was the league’s MVP, and coincidentally, he was on the cover the year after. You’ve already destroyed one Viking superstar in Daunte Culpepper, but he was only good because he had Randy Moss. Then there are the obvious connections such as Mike Vick, Eddie George and Garrison Hearst. LaDanian Tomlinson was so freaked out by this he turned down the millions of dollars involved to grace the cover.

  So if you have an ounce of mercy in your soul, please refrain from putting the greatest running back in Vikings history on the cover of Madden. I know this puts you in a bind, but I have the perfect solution for you. Let’s throw Aaron Rodgers on the cover. I kind of feel sorry for that guy. He had to sit behind your idol for a couple of years and has some pretty big shoes to fill. I think he would look great on the cover.

Chris Schad is a student at UW-River Falls.