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Author archive: Bethany Lovejoy

March 7, 2018

Horoscopes by Beth: Spring breakdown

Spring break is here, and even if you’re going somewhere, you’d much rather be home. Sure, home has your bed and all your amenities and a few dozen toaster strudels, but you’re going to get a bad idea the minute you arrive anywhere remotely homey.

March 7, 2018

‘I Give it a Year’: more like, I give it a three

It’s so easy to cut off people who hurt you, but sometimes it’s more beneficial to ask why something happened and how you can fix it. Part of being a mature and healthy adult is facing conflict rationally and treating other people with respect regardless of your own opinions (not talking dirt, insulting them, screaming at them in hallways).These people are not mature and healthy adults.

February 28, 2018

What’s your favorite breakfast? ‘One Small Hitch’ is a little weird but a little good

This week our movie caused me to reflect on many aspects of my life, such as my choice of favorite breakfast and my hair color. “One Small Hitch” is a romantic comedy recommended to me by a very cool lady who works at the Involvement Center and may or may not be one of the best people I’ve met.

February 28, 2018

Horoscopes by Stephanie Lovejoy- it’s a joke, my name’s Beth


Your constellation has moved out of the line with its morals and values, which is why we have to have a serious talk this week.

I know what you’ve been thinking: Buzzfeed is easy and they literally do nothing.

February 21, 2018

‘Kiki’s Delivery Service’: coming of age with a fantasy twist

To preface this article, I would like to apologize to Jacinta, a beautiful and perfect woman who recommended another movie this week for review. I had to push back that review to next week because it is not every day that you get an opportunity to watch “Kiki’s Delivery Service.”

February 21, 2018

Horoscopes by Beth: at least my mom reads these


You’re going to be invited to a lot of things this week.

That’s awesome and all and I’m really happy for you, but remember what happens anytime Scooby Doo and his gang are invited anywhere. That’s right: almost murder, sometimes zombies and a lot of the time it’s ghosts.

February 13, 2018

“Mascots” is the movie to watch this Valentine’s Day

“Mascots”: more like mass consumer entertainment.

Fun, not interesting or cool fact for my five readers: columns are not actually written on the day that a paper comes out if you’re a weekly paper. That is, they aren’t written that way most of the time.

February 13, 2018

Horoscopes by Beth: be prepared for the unpredictable


You’re going to lay down in bed and you’re going to think of “Star Wars” and you’re just gonna be like, “wow.”

What a gift. What a gift to be in a generation that is releasing “Star Wars” movies and to just really get to be a part of these historical moments.

February 8, 2018

Horoscopes by Beth: the super unpredictable awakening

This is kind of weird to say, but the Aries constellation is aligned with the great pickle of Mars, so it’s gonna be a weird week. You’re gonna be a little salty, briny, green?
I think green.
You’re gonna turn a little green, hun.
Pick up some red concealer and try to fix that color wheel until you got that whole weird situation figured out. You should likely stay home.

February 7, 2018

‘Emo the Musical’: A Big Australian Why

Think of the worst idea you’ve ever had.

Was it climbing a tall tree? Maybe overdrawing your account? Applying for a job too late?

Whatever it was, it’s not as a bad as “Emo the Musical”.